Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Daniel Plainview certainly doesn't, he's way too busy drilling for oil. And last time I checked, neither does anyone else, but Jameer Nelson is set to make his return for the Magic tonight against Miami.
From Brian Schmitz of the Orlando Sentinel:
Nelson has missed the past five games after straining a tendon in his right foot.
Williams, 32, is the Miami Heat point guard who becomes a free agent this summer, already telling friends that he would love to finish his career in Orlando, where he has made his home since leaving the University of Florida 10 years ago.
Seriously though the guy's a vet, and he could bring some valuable experience to the table at the point guard position, something we haven't seen since Stevie Franchise was here. He's also a pretty competent basketball player who was quite good in his prime, and has shown that he can be quite good when he needs to be.
I'm starting my campaign now, please Otis, for the love of all things holy, bring this man in. Gortat needs a mentor, and I need to know that there is a possibility that I could possibly be in a position where I may be getting drinks with freaking Jason Williams and Marcin Gortat. I mean my wedding day was pretty good, but drinking with GORTAT?!?!?! I think I could die happy.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The inevitable trade demand by Jason Kidd and waiving of Damon Stoudamire finally occurred yesterday. As has long been ranted by me, Kidd has watched his perennial finals team disintegrate into a mess involving numerous dropped no look passes and Vince Carter instinctively clutching his leg whenever he fucks up. Stoudamire has been playing behind Mike Conley and Kyle Lowry all year.
I personally beg the trigger happy Isiah Thomas this one thing: ignore this first piece of news, but reunite with your very first star pupil, Stoudamire.
Regardless of my man-crush on J Kidd, last season's brilliance ought to have been more widely reported and earnestly discussed. By all accounts the Nets should not have even made the playoffs, but Kidd on gimpy old-man knees willed them into not only a berth, but into the second round. Plans for the new stadium in Brooklyn have been pushed back, so although it may be hard to trade him now at his age, the team ought to just pack it in a bit and give the man what he's due.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Yes, boys and girls, Chris Webber is joining the Golden State Warriors.
"I'm afraid if we don't get him here [that] our team is not strong enough to be a playoff team," Nelson said. "That's my biggest fear. I think if he comes it can benefit our team, it can benefit his and my relationship, it can benefit players on this team."
Since my friend Jor so eloquently gave the Magic recap, I'll give you guys a little bit more, since I was at the game with my good friend and oft-site commenter Magic Man. The place really was bananas, and the game was highly entertaining; Hedo got an All Star chant, it was FANTASTIC! Ray Allen was ice cold from jumpstreet, which made it very surprising that he finished with 17. Rondo kept doing the same go to move, he would drive the lane, fake it up, and then try some turn around jumper, all while cementing the idea that Damon Stoudamire will soon have his job. Pierce was Pierce, pretty dominant. Quote from Magic Man,
"Looks like Pierce is nervous, he's saying Uh oh, this is a last year game. Me playing with 4 other random dudes again."
And that was exactly what it looked like. Pierce, Kendrick Perkins (trash), Ray Allen (Shuttlesworth), Rondo (Stripe), and Brian Scalabrine (Michael Rappaport). Altogether, they looked pretty bad, and with no Garnett, it was a pretty unfortunate position they were in. However, they almost found a way to win, and without the play of Hedo, chances are we wouldn't have made it out. But we did, and many Boston fans walked out with their heads down, traversing our fine city looking for a fight, because that's what they do, and not finding it, then going back to the Travelodge and waiting for their flight home so they can talk about the Patriots again. It was fairly awesome, although I've never seen more McHale jerseys in my life... Some sort of ok decent pics for you guys to peruse.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
ABC, actually making a correct decision for once (That show "Cavemen"...not such a good one), decided to drop the surefire blowout matchup of the Bulls vs. Suns in favor of the Magic-Celtics game on Sunday.
All I can say is this: whomever made that decision at ABC, give them a raise (or their job back if they were caught making love to their secretary).
The Celts hopped off to a large lead, then the Magic used the 3rd quarter to surge forward by 16 points, only to have the Celtics shoot to a 11-0 run and take the lead down the stretch. After the game went back and forth, Ray Allen made a three pointer to tie it with 14 seconds left...and then came this:
The best part of the video is Hubie Brown dismissing the play early with a "too late...too late". You can practically see him throwing his hands into the air, shaking his head at these cocky youngsters, and turning to see what old movie is on AMC.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Mums the word for now, but we're looking into some interesting opportunities being presented to the site. THF might soon be on your radio airwaves, some magazine interviews are set up, and other pooptacular events are planned to help us fulfill our dream of one day acquiring Google.
And as usual, I've got several thoughts on my mind. One would be that Kobe is the league-MVP right now, hands down. It's so obvious, it isn't even worth discussing, although I'll have to tomorrow night on NBA Shootaround.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Running and maintaining a website/blog/rant-o-rama like The Howeva Files is certainly a labor of love. Those who even glance at the site have noticed my affinity for three distinct things outside of the realm of basketball:
- Las chicas
- Las chicas who like booze
But that's the beauty of my journey.
My vague point is this: I like basketball. Actually, we all do. We love it. That's why we're scared shitless at the moment. For the next 10 days, there is NOTHING going on in sports besides basketball. Don't kid yourselves fanatics, 2-week long super bowl coverage, tennis, steroids in baseball talk and hockey do not count.
So why are we scared that we are no longer distracted by anything else and are totally free to soak in as much NBA as we please? The looming shadows of football and baseball allow basketball to oftentimes float just below the radar of the average fan. From afar the average fan can feel good that they have something to watch between Tuesday and Saturday. Now briefly exposed to the unadulterated bright lights of the world, the pimples and scars of a sport constantly battling an image problem are on full display. Why did TJ Ford's injury not garner as much attention as it should have? It was on the eve of a rare Thursday night NFL game, so there was much pre-game analysis to get to. Analysis of an entire basketball game is considered to be simple division when compared to the calculus-like intricacies of Derek Jeter turning a double play or Matt Hasselbeck making the right read against a cloud coverage. (By the way this is exactly why Jaws is invaluable to the NFL's fanaticism and why Bill Walton is killing the NBA's).
Since this is a sport that does not compare to the other big time ones when it comes to hometown fanaticism and analytic breakdowns by Sean Salisbury, the NBA has relied upon it's stars and their up-front personalities. Now that these personalities don't have to share the stage for the next ten days, they're totally free to fuck up and wreck the good karma they've been building up so far.
That is why David Stern and all those as invested in the NBA must do the following:
- Tie up Ron Artest to a steel girder in the bowels of Arco before he snaps again.
- Cut off the tongue of Isiah Thomas before he can put "New York Knicks" and "championship" in the same sentence again.
- Make sure Darius Miles is still rehabbing his knee at Baskin-Robbins.
- Keep Jerry Sloan away from any gay pride parades.
- Give Stephen Jackson his very own three-fingered dwarf to beat down.
- Slip Scottie Pippen a 20.
- Release the Will Ferrel's 'Semi-Pro' ASAP.
- Have Chuck Norris follow JR Smith and savagely beat him whenever Smith reaches for the car keys.
- Replace Nelly's post-game Bud with O'Douls.
- Award the Heat 10 wins for being such good sports.
- Suggest Kevin McHale go into a 2-week light-to-no coma.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I also kept getting stung by jellyfish when I was surfing in Cairns, and was repeatedly told that it was the "good season" if I only got stung a few times. Apparently during the "bad season", there are so many jellyfish in the water that you face certain death if you go in the water. How delightful! Someone sign this guy to a multi-year deal now so we can see the NBA toss in stuff about jellyfish into their contracts!
Last night I saw Cloverfield. As a New Yorker, I will say that it rocked my socks off and had me walking around Manhattan after the movie half expecting buildings to blow up and fall over. I'm not sure how it will play in rural areas like Montana, with people who have never even been to the city, but for anyone who has been here it's very, very much recommended.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
You know what really grinds my gears? For the past couple of years, the NBA All Star voting has been a joke, and it's one of those things where people don't care all that much, so it just goes on like it is, not being changed, not being noticed. Well you know what? I say screw that. But since I have more important things to do (playing Rock Band) than marching on David Stern's home, so I'm gonna blog about it.
Have any of you seen the actual vote tabulations for the All Star squads yet? Of course you haven't. Well the fans think that the Houston Rockets are the Harlem Globetrotters of the West. Which is fine, because I love antics, and those Generals always took it in the shorts, and there's something very relieving about that, it means all is right in the world. Wait what do you mean staged exhibition games?!?!
Anyway, apparently besides Yao and T-Mac, which are sanctioned votes, because they're actually doing things like scoring points and getting rebounds, fundamental type stuff you know, unlike their other counterparts who are getting votes right now, Luis Scola and Shane Battier. Don't get me wrong, these guys are not bad players. Battier is a nice player, he's a glue guy, but he gets it done. I stand by drafting him every year in Fantasy Basketball, and he doesn't disappoint. Scola has done very well for himself also, through week 11 he's 5th in Rookie rankings and is a young Antonio Banderas. However, you mean to tell me that they're better than Kevin Durant or Josh Howard? Cause according to the votes, they are. Battier finished with 3779 less votes than Shawn Marion. Freaking Shawn Marion. That my friends, is too close for comfort. Now I don't want to be racist guy, I'll leave that to LSU fan (warning, that video has retard tigers in the wild), but if Yao wasn't a Rocket (and Chinese), this wouldn't be happening.
Now this is no surprise to any of us that actually know the NBA, but those who are sort of casual fans aren't aware of the effect that Yao has brought on a national scale, and the wave of Chinese fans that are voting based on Yao has sort of been the impetus that got this whole thing going.
That's just one example though. There are guys getting votes that have played very little basketball; Gilbert Arenas is 5th among Eastern Conference guards, and T.J. Ford is 10th, while his replacement Jose Calderon (11.8 PPG, 8.4 APG) is playing absolutely lights out basketball and are nowhere to be found. The Calderon thing infuriates me because those numbers are crazy, with turning the ball over 1.5 times a game, that boys and girls, is outstanding.
I have a few solutions for this redickulousness so please follow along, it's a blues riff in B, watch me for the changes, and try to keep up. I think that we need to go to a more specific positional voting system. Right now it's just guard/forward/center, which was fine from the 50's to the late 80's but there is a resounding number of combo guys in the league and that's making it pretty hard for people to get noticed at their position, and no one is being rewarded for being "a pure point guard/shooting guard/small forward/power forward", which is a dying breed (see Jose Calderon). Right now, Paul Pierce is 4th in Eastern Conference forwards, which seems odd to me personally; in my opinion the guy's not a forward. In that situation, if you specialize the positions and separate the voting, that puts Pierce second in the votes behind LeBron, which makes considerably more sense. Following that, guys like Hedo Turkoglu and Josh Smith, who are playing out of their minds right now get bumped up, and get noticed for their game.
Other than that, it would probably be a good idea to make the stat ranking rule that the NBA uses (guys have to play 85% of games in order to be ranked) follow suit for the All Star game. This way, you don't see Arenas and T.J. Ford getting voted for, and those guys are going to get replaced by reserve selections anyway, which get chosen by the head coaches in those respective conferences in the first place. So why even go through the motions of voting for those guys? It's a win win, the fans still get to vote, and it's fairer because injuries don't come into play.
With those options out there, the NBA gets their fan friendly image, and we get to see a better represented game, so everyone's happy. What do you guys think?
The Howeva Files? What kind of blog IS this?!?!?!
Considering our shared colorful histories with Ron Artest, it's a surprise no one threw a beer. We know this ball coach is without a team right now, so we're offering him the highly coveted combo position of rec league player/coach and designated driver. He's seriously considering the offer....
Monday, January 21, 2008
No, I didn't leave the "I" out of "Milk".
Let's face it, this past weekend was all about the NFL. I watched it, you watched it, and even yo momma watched it (I'd rather not go into detail about how I know this, but let's just say it involved a whistle and a ref uniform). The NBA only had one game yesterday, which involved the Nets getting slaughtered by the Suns, so even the NBA itself knew that there really wasn't much to talk about in its own league.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
*I love how news networks rush so fast to report filth, that they stumble over simple stuff like how to spell a name!*
So apparently Jameson Curry, a Bulls rookie on the D-League team, suffers from what my buddy Andre Andreas calls, "bitch bladder." For the bitches out there that have yet to realize the uniqueness of your bladders, that means that Jameson pissed in an alley next to a Hampton Inn in Boise and got nabbed by the police for it.
What's even more awesome is that he tried to nonchalantly walk away and slip through a locked door even though it was totally obvious he was caught by a police officer. Ultimately, he was arrested for misdemeanor charges of resisting and obstructing an officer, and urinating in public. He's since made the $600 bond, allowing him to possibly participate in the NBA Development League's Showcase at Qwest Arena. The good news? The Bulls still like him more than Joakim Noah.