This guy does, cause he got out of Milwaukee. However, in bat$**t crazy news, the New Jersey Nets have decided to trade Richard Jefferson to Milwaukee for Yi Jianlian and
Busty Busterson Bobby Simmons. If you ask Milwaukee right now, they love trades. They got RJ for 300 million Chinese fans basically. If Yi really and truly hated it there (like he said he was going to and his agent said he was going to and everyone else besides Bucks ownership said he was going to), then I'll be pretty excited to see what he will do in New Jersey.
I think New Jersey will give Yi a chance to be on the receiving end of better team basketball, which will help him grow considerably more than he would watching Michael Redd shoot. Personally, I don't think Yi is a bust. If he was going in that direction, he would look more like Wang Zhi Zhi by now. As far as Most Improved Player '05 Bobby Simmons goes, I don't know what he brings to the table for New Jersey. They have such a glaring need for 6'6" combo guards I guess.
As far as Milwaukee goes, they stole an All-Star. Does this get them closer to contending in the East? No it sure doesn't. Does this give them an out in the Get-Rid-of-Yi-Amicably game? Yes it does. So happy trails RJ, good luck with that franchise, and I'll have fun playing Association mode in NBA 2K9 with your squad; I'll have you contending by 2011, and I'll bring you more superstars. You can take solace in that.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
This guy does. Finally the reality show we all know as the National Basketball Association ends it's go to challenge Point Guard Wars as the Toronto Raptors have completed a trade (in principal) which sends point guard (questionable title) T.J. Ford, center Rasho Nesterovic, a player to be named, and the #17 pick to the Indiana Pacers for forward/center Jermaine O'Neal.
It seems like everyone's loving this deal so far, but I'm wondering when we went back to 1997 because that sounds like an awful lot of chips to deal for 2 degenerative knees. Regardless of what anyone thinks O'Neal's value is, the deal is still fairly good for Toronto. Great for Indiana, they're getting another pick to rebuild with and they don't have to worry too too much about the point guard situation (although I would never deal for a point guard if I had Travis Diener on the books). Jermaine O'Neal healthy gives you about 15/7. Next to Chris Bosh, that might become 15/9. I almost compare it to the deal that went down for that other O'Neal a while ago, because you're not necessarily getting him for the stats he brings, but the presence. Just having the 2 of them down there makes other teams have to consider more when they go up against them for the 40 games that he's healthy. Plus there is a lot of piece of mind involved in knowing who your franchise point guard is (well deserved) instead of having a weird tandem that has never really worked out for you in the first place. Good show Pacers and Raptors, you've started Draft Day out very nicely. Now excuse me, I have to hang up my Jose Calderon FatHead.
Update: Apparently the deal isn't a DONE deal until July 1st; T.J. Ford's deal has a compensation tag that has to come off the books, and dudes need physicals.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
As I mentioned briefly in yesterday's entry, the Orlando Magic are going to get a new logo and jerseys at some point this summer. As a diehard Magic fan, the suspense is killing me. Making me wait on what the complete image overhaul for my favorite team will look like is like telling me, "So...you may or may not have genital warts. Later this summer you can find out!"
Sunday, June 22, 2008
With the draft coming up soon, it's time for crap teams to start looking to the future to avoid the hell that is their present. No team is in need of more of a diversion from the baggy-eyed present that is Kevin McHale than the Minnesota Timberwolves. They are chucking a new logo out there and seeing how it does. Early word is that this is a secondary logo, but I don't think that is a definite yet.
And here you are, dear readers:
I know what you are thinking and NO I didn't just photoshop a wolf on the Dallas Mavericks logo. Boy, how much of a ripoff of the Dallas logo is that? Sure, the old "monster wolf in front of green trees" logo smacked of days past when Garnett actually had the boys in contention, but it did at least stand out. This chucks the team into that netherworld that is Clippers-Nuggets-Atlanta Hawks-esque logo and color abiguity. I am going to reserve complete judgement until I see the primary logo (if there is a different one), but so far this just smacks of copycat work. For shame, Minnesotans.
As you can ask any of my friends, I take logos and colors of teams WAY too seriously, so I will be following this story closely. A recent rumor that my favorite team, the Magic, might be getting a new logo is enough to keep me up at night. The moment Minnesota's new primary logo is leaked, you will find it here.*
*Unless I am on vacation, asleep, or generally unmotivated. There is approximately a 13% I will not be one of those things, so stay tuned!
Friday, June 20, 2008
After a wonderful playoffs, the NBA is still in relative slumber mode. Sure, there is plenty of trade and draft talk, but that's all it really is at this point. It's still too early to see any of the million and one rumored trade ideas floating around the league actually going down, and despite what you might hear, the Bulls and Heat will end up staying in their draft positions and draft Rose and Beasley.
Rather than spend any useless effort on foolish rumor discussions that won't come to fluition, let's turn our attention to more pressing matters...namely...
DAVID STERN GETTING HIT ON BY THIS SCARY LOOKING WOMAN!
After watching that a few times I think I need to read something before I go to sleep, lest that woman's "sticking her tongue out" face haunt my dreams.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Lakers hopped back into making it a respectable series with a win last night. The series is now 3-2 as it heads back to Boston, by no means over but still likely to be a Celtics championship.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
After less than two months into what many thought was a final retirement from coaching, Hall of Famer Pat Riley announced his return to the sideline Saturday to relieve Boston Celtics coach, Doc Rivers, of his duties.
"Doc's done a terrific job on this journey to a championship, but it's time that a true legend 'roll the station wagon into the driveway' so to speak" Riley stated to a packed room in downtown Los Angeles.
Rivers was not present at the press conference, but had a written statement read aloud by Riley. "This season has had it's rewards. I'll remember fondly getting within one game of my first championship, but it just feels right that I take time off to spend some more time with my darling family. Maybe I'll return to coaching as soon as Riley is done poaching, but until then I'll be happy not winning championships."
The Lakers are one loss away from their season ending, and with this knowledge in mind there is a good chance the team is in a bit of a bitter mood tonight.
My suggestion for comforting them? Put a sympathetic hand on their shoulder and tell them it's going to be okay. Sasha Vujacic, for instance, appears to find much comfort in this:
To be fair, I do the same thing when anyone touches my shoulder. I'm no piece of meat, ladies.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
With the Celtics win tonight, overcoming a 26 point defecit, the Lakers are one win away from NBA Finals death. This means we are also one win away from actually uttering the phrase, "Big Baby...NBA Champion."
In case Kobe and company need some suggestions on the best possible way to die, here are some good ones:
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
In a stunning move in hopes of deflecting the negative press from the new Tim Donaghy allegations, David Stern ordered that the entirety of Game 3 be played in the world's largest shower curtain. Since this Celtics-Lakers match-up has stirred up pleasant memories of finals past, the league concluded that it would just be better if a three hour montage was projected onto massive sheets of mildew-resistant artificial fabrics.
"We banked this entirely on the hypotheses that the die-hard fans would get caught up in the montage and that the fair-weather fans would get distracted by all the celebs in the audience so no one would think that a fixed game was being played," NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver explained.
Donaghy, the disgraced former referee who has admitted to passing along inside information, betting on NBA games, and made calls to affect the point spread, claimed that an NBA official instructed referees to call fouls tighter, on who's been deduced as Yao Ming in his 2005 playoff match-up against the Dallas Mavericks. At the time, Houston coach Jeff Van Gundy was fined $100K for claiming that an NBA official told him that the NBA would more closely monitor Yao's moving screens.
After being supported by Donaghy's allegations, the bald Van Gundy allegedly reached a deal with the league that he would receive Andy Garcia's hair in lieu of being repaid the hundred grand.
Oh, and apparently the Lakers won 87-81 behind Kobe Bryant's 36 points, which no one saw.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Of all of the players in the Celtics-Lakers Finals, the guy who I am constantly looking at and wishing I knew more about is Sasha Vujacic. With his bizarre feminine headband, plastered down hair, and sweet 3 point shooting streak, he seems like quite a character. My favorite aspect of him is that he seems to shoot whenever the ball touches his hands, which is high comedy for the sheer amount of times cameras pan to Kobe sneering and shaking his head. There's only room for ONE selfish player on this team, says King Kobe-ra!
Speaking of Sasha shooting a lot, kudos to Lakers-Fan.com for this Sasha "The Machine" video blog goodness. Way too much effort went into making this, but it was worth every drop of sweat and hair grease:
Friday, June 6, 2008
So this happened last night. Apparently Paul Pierce blew his knee out. Sprained meniscus was the word. But suddenly, taking a page out of Penny Marshall's book (insert Awakenings joke here), Paul Pierce wasn't hurt anymore. Did he realize that he looked like a sissy on national television (insert Dwayne Wade cry pic here)? Was it Brian "Mix-Tape Assassin" Scalabrine's breath? No, it was neither of these. The answer is, Christ loves Boston sports and saved Paul Pierce.
I know I know, I sound ridiculous, but I think it's true. I've read enough Bill Simmons to have seen this apocalypse coming. I don't know about you guys, but this Finals has been tough to sink my teeth into; sure I predicted this outcome, but do I like either of these teams? Sure don't. Are any of my NBA man-crushes participating? Sure aren't. So after simultaneously celebrating my wedding anniversary and Jor's foray into matrimonial bliss on Florida's gulf coast,
I wasn't particularly psyched about going back to everyday life, which included this seven game series. Either way, it's still going on and Boston still won last night, and Paul Pierce may be the reason for that.
After getting smashed by his own teammate (Kendrick don't!!!), collapsing to the ground, and hearing something pop, Pierce had to be carried off the floor by Brian Scalabrine (G.O.A.T.) and Tony Allen and taken out back for a Derby Salute, when Jesus touched his face and said,
So in summary, Round 1 goes to the Celts. I still stand behind my dish and say L.A.'s going to get on Kobe's shoulders and take this series. Don't be surprised next holiday season when you're looking at a nativity scene, and you notice one of the three wise men is wearing a green headband, a number 34 jersey, and throwing gang signs; Jesus loves Paul Pierce. Oh and congratulations NBA, I care now.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Lakers take on their arch rivals tonight in a slobberknocker of epic proportions. Growing up an enormous Larry Bird fan, I have to side with the Celtics here. This will no doubt screw me in the future when I inevitably move to Los Angeles to continue my work in television, upon which I am immediately pelted with purple and yellow painted rocks.
To the credit of David Stern and the refs who did everything possible to ensure this series would happen, I have been very nostalgic of the Lakers-Celts games of old lately and it has been making me excited. Specifically, I took a look back at "Larry Legend's" highlights over the past few days, and remember why I spent many a late night in grade school reading "Drive".
Take a look at this guy at work...he's not mortal:
We American-born white guys need another Larry Bird/John Stockton figure to remind our youths that they actually might have a chance to play in the NBA one day. For now, when I have a son I will be sure to sit him in front of these highlights to remind him that dorky white guys with blonde moustaches and short shorts actually CAN rock everyone's socks off.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
We all know Kobe is a man of the world, but who knew he was so fluent in the language of love?
Italian Interviewer: Kobe, you speak the language of love...what says "romance" for you?
Kobe: A splooge-covered t-shirt, delivered by way of 'toss to the face'.
Italian Interviewer: Any resolutions for if you win the title this year?
Kobe: Curtail parking lot rants against Andrew Bynum. Do more about Jordan Farmar.
Italian Interviewer: What is the best thing you ever did in your travels through Italy?
Kobe: Jumping over a "Smart Car".
We may play this backwards and and realize he was saying "Paul is dead" over and over again like a Beatles record, but for now he sounds pretty damn worldly. It takes a lot for me to admit Kobe is anything other than an egomaniac, but speaking in Italian to a reporter? Pretty pimp.
Surprise Central! Grizzlies Owner Admits That Whole "Gasol For Kwame" Thing Might Have Been A Mistake!
Monday, June 2, 2008
The collective world of the NBA is twiddling its fingers tonight, with players and teams not wanting to make any important announcements lest they be forgotten the moment the NBA Finals begin. It's time like these, with a great rivalry like the Lakers and Celtics about to take shape once again, that we look back and take stock of the great NBA rivalries from years past.
-Magic Johnson vs. Larry Bird
-Rudy Tomjanovich vs. Kermit Washington's Fist
-Rick Mahorn vs. Manute Bol.......
Sigh...watching that video makes me really miss the 80s. Everything was so blissfully contrived. Not only do they tell Bol to act surprised (great acting job, Manute), they cut to a second, closer camera to show the expression on Rick Mahorn's face. Throw in the shticky music after the surprise and the fact that this so obviously filmed on a television set (notice the incredibly believable "club room" sign on the door when they show Manute Bol) and you have sheer nostalgic bliss.