The OJ Report

So USC coach, Tim Floyd, is running his program like a rec league team where everyone gets a chance to start. Or that's his excuse anyway for not starting our man OJ against the No. 18 Souther Illinois Salukis in the title game of the Anaheim Classic on Sunday night. Well that little experiment didn't last long as Mayo played a total of 28 minutes, leading the Trojans to a blowout win and racking up the Most Outstanding Player award.

So what really happened that lead to Mayo's benching? Did he break another teammate's jaw 'accidentally' or just show up late to practice? Did he stick up a McDonalds a la Marcus Vick, or did he just not run hard in his sprints in practice? I'm drooling in anticipation for the answers.

And since many of you were probably watching the Patriots on Monday, I'll let you in on a secret: The Nets may be decent. Over the past few years, whenever a team from the east would travel west, they'd come back with their tail between their legs. Not this time. They won three out of the four during their west coast swing, cemented by a thrilling win over the Lakers. This brings them back into the thick of the competitive Atlantic Division. So what do we actually learn from this trip? Coming off the bench, Sean Williams is becoming an anchor on defense, much like Kenyon "Bad Ass Yellow Boy" Martin was back in the day. His shot blocking ability is allowing Kidd and Jefferson to play the passing lanes and get out on the fast break. And speaking of Jefferson, this also may be the season that when it's over, we all look back and recognize that this was when RJ finally vaulted ahead of Vince Carter to become the dependable go-to scorer on the team.

The way it's looking right now, there's no way that they'll be able to compete with the Celtics for the division crown, but it is exciting to see J-Kidd have a supporting cast that will at least run with the man.

The OJ Report Part I: Does Minnesota Like-a Da Juice, Ah?

Now that you, our loyal readers, have bet all savings on our highly-biased predictions, it's time to start thinking about how you're going to get that money back. I, myself, have started thinking about next year a-la Mel Kiper Jr.

So what's on the horizon?

THE OJ COMETH!

As previously noted, the Minnesota Timberwolves are a travesty in large part thanks to their vice president of operations, Kevin McHale. Unfortunately for Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, McHale does in fact have a plan and it's modeled after the administrations of ML Carr and Danny Ainge.

Through his numerous trades, McHale has built a roster of 15 players dominated by 6 unspectacular former Celtics. In Carr fashion, McHale has built the T-Wolves to be fucked for centuries, but after watching his former teammate, Danny Ainge, he's realized there's one loophole to redeem himself. If he ensures they tank the season and finish with the worst record, he'll have a 25% chance to make OJ Mayo the first pick in the draft.

The appetizers: He's recieved LeBron-ish hype since the 8th grade. After being accused of assault as a student in Cincinnati, he transfered to a high school in West Virginia where he made even more headlines for a phantom chest bump on a ref and a citation for marijuana possession that was later dismissed.
The Main Entre: He recruited a college, not the other way around. Looking to market himself in a major market during his likely one year of college before entering the NBA, Mayo had a runner walk into the office of USC coach, Tim Floyd, to tell him of Mayo's desire to come to SoCal.

All I can say is that I cannot get enough of this kid and you can look forward to more updates and speculations on his future NBA home as the season progresses.