Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy (Belated) New Year 2009! Black And Blue's L.A. Recap

We're back from our yearly Christmas hiatus, rested, and ready for whatever 2009 throws at us. For yours truly, it was an eventful break as I went to Los Angeles and did about a jillion things there. I won't bore you with the amazing adventures, but I will give them to you in handy-dandy bulletpoint format!

- I ran into Jazz star Carlos Boozer in Beverly Hills, eating outside in a cafe. He was in town for the Jazz-Lakers game. Carlos seems less hairy in person, but those eyebrows still loom large.

- I saw The Room at the Sunset 5 theater. This means nothing to many of you outside of Los Angeles, but this movie is the WORST MOVIE EVER, and I mean that as a very good thing. It's so laughably bad that the audience participates in a Rocky Horror Picture Show-esque display, throwing spoons at the screen and yelling loudly about how fat the female costar is. Check out some of the Youtube clips.

- One of my female friends randomly had a threesome with two guys. Hopefully this will be a theme in the year of our lord 2009.

- I videotaped myself walking around the L.A. shopping complex "The Grove", and in the process inadvertantly taped whoever the hell this celebrity is at right (my wife tells me it is Harriet the Spy and Gossip Girl star Michelle Trachtenberg...cue me staring blankly) . She put her sunglasses on, dashed away, and a bunch of lonely female workers in Nordstrom yelled at me for "scaring her away". I later learned that "The Grove" is a shopping complex with about 5 stores and celebrities go there to be seen and photographed. After learning this I felt an unhealthy compulsion to destroy a Harriet The Spy DVD. Also, she is nothing to look at in real life (looks like a 13 year old mouse-child).

- La Brea Tarpits and shopping in Venice: Overrated.

- LACMA (the art museum in L.A) and shopping in Santa Monica: Underrated.

- Speaking of shopping in Santa Monica, I went to a Borders bookstore there. The store was THE ONE STORE going out of business (my father got an email about this from across the country), so it was packed and everything was at least 50% off. What made this more interesting was that I (along with the entire store) witnessed two drunk/drugged-out teenage girls that proceeded to cause mayhem on a Motley Crue scale. One puked all over herself, and passed out in the children's section. The other...the one that seemed to be the "sober one"...passed out on the stairs, causing her to land face first and knock herself out. Her pants fell down and she didn't have any underwear, leaving a butt exposed and motionless to approximately 300 shoppers. Watching this all unfold was really one of the most entertaining experiences of my life.

- Because there are SO many burger joints in L.A., I demanded to go to each one and rank them on a scale of 1-10. I wound up taste-testing at least 15 different places (not including the East-Coast standbys such as Burger King and Wendy's) The Winners? With a 10 out of 10 is Fatburger and close behind is In And Out Burger and a burger from the cafe Father's Office, with a 9 out of 10. You can see how seriously I take vacations.

There are a ton of other great stories that I am sure will seep their way onto the hallowed pages of this website in the coming weeks, but I have been up for 48 hours straight from a red-eye flight so that's all I got. Here's to a fantastic 2009!

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