Dallas Mavericks center Eric
a Dampier guaranteed to reporters to put French rap sensation, Tony Parker, "on his back" in the next game Thursday night, presumably to do one of two things: intimidate the Spurs guard...or make sweet love to him. For those not familiar Dampier- the beast man known as carnage and brutality personified- he successfully used this same tactic on Dwyane Wade during the 2006 NBA Finals, limiting the Heat guard to the highest PER in a finals series since the NBA-ABA merger.
When asked to comment, NBA spokesman Tim Frank repeatedly rolled his eyes and said between snickering that the league was "looking into it." When pressed to elaborate on who exactly was going to speak with Dampier, Frank responded "Ummm, I dunno....a security corps comprised of ninjas, vikings, and Chewbacca that's who." He then broke into unstoppable laughter and walked away holding his sides.
No word yet if any other disciplinary action was taken against Dampier.
(Oh yeah, I've got a computer again! Glad to be back!)