Monday, October 27, 2008

Every So Often Politics Interest Me

In choosing a presidential candidate, I look for a few things:

1) Which has the best set of teeth? (Advantage: Obama)

2) Who, if I were to ask, "Could you do me a favor? When you're at the supermarket, pick me up some beef jerky?"...would be a pal and do it? (Advantage: McCain)

3) Who doesn't smell like old cats? (Advantage: Obama)

4) Who wouldn't look at me smugly when I spoke with them, all the time thinking, "I have WAY more money than this guy". Note: They only think they do. (Advantage: Neither)

5) Who has lived a crazy life that was more like a chapter from Motley Crue's biography The Dirt than reality? (Advantage: McCain)

One thing I didn't take into account on previous elections was ability to ball on the court. In this case, Obama might be very well getting my vote. Before you start claiming I'm a New Yorker, so Obama is going to win my damn state so my vote doesn't matter (you are's actually rather pointless to vote this time around), let me tell you about the abilities of Obama on the court: Apparently he is so badass that he has no problem trash talking to NBA players. According to overpaid Knicks player (there is a phrase you hear every two seconds) Chris Duhon:

He would say " 'You can't guard me!' Just random talk," Duhon added. "He knows the game. He's like a point guard out there, and so he's always telling guys where to go, what to do, very vocal."
This is an awesome mental image. Not only the fact that we have a presidential candidate that can play basketball well, but also the fact that he appears to have the knowledge necessary to treat the Knicks like the joke they are. That might have sounded a little harsh, but these are harsh times, sister.

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