Alright! First preseason game! A great chance to check out my draft pick Danilo Gallinari!
He can't play because he has a sore back? Oh...Well, alrighty then.
At least I'll get a chance to see if my attempts to whip Eddy Curry into shape will come to fluition!
What? He has a mysterious bacterial infection? What does that even mean? Does he have a cold? Is it lupus?
Well, to hell with them. I'll get to check out some of role players and figure out how to shape the bench on this squad. HERE! WE! GO!
Is this the injury report you're handing to me? Let's see....okay what the HELL. Allan Houston, Jerome James AND Jared Jeffries can't dress tonight? Who do I have to give a rub down to get some personal trainer help around here? I mean sheeeeeeyit!
Mustn't...get...down. This town will swallow you alive if you show that you are upset. Stay strong, D'Antoni. Stay strong. (Looks in a pocket mirror, strokes moustache, and kisses at the reflection). There, all better.
Let's go team! Game time! ...God help us all.
(The Knicks lose to the Raptors. Chris Duhon, the Knicks' highly paid free agent acquisition shoots 1-7, and has 7 turnovers. Chris Bosh goes off for 20 points in 25 minutes. Mike D'Antoni spends the night of his first preseason game as Knicks coach with his wife, staring at the ceiling and wondering if he can somehow gracefully bow out of this job and enter the world of high-stakes popcorn sales)