I normally would write something here about 
Atlanta's HUGE win over the Celtics tonight to push it to the most unlikely 7th game in recent memory, but there is actually something more important to discuss:
Tomorrow night is my bachelor party...being thrown by none other than Anubis Taylor. I do not know much of what is going to happen other than:
1) The drinking will begin at appoximately 11am Saturday and end roughtly 11pm Sunday. Two days worth of liquid goodness with a slew of my best friends in the world (who hopefully won't shave my head as I sleep).
2) There will be scantily-clad women involved. When asked what profession of stripper I would prefer, I immediately said with a straight face, "no clowns."3) The festivities will be in Atlantic City, which (from what I have picked up from going there since I was a wee child) is a land of elegance and beauty where nothing seedy takes place.
4) One of my friends, Doug, has been texting me every single day of this past week. Each text has detailed how difficult it will be for my liver and soul to recover from this upcoming weekend, likening it to the moment "when Lucifer fell from heaven".
5) Just in case the weekend isn't crazy enough, we will be bringing along a copy of the Motley Crue biography "The Dirt" for ideas. If I start snorting ants with Ozzy Osbourne, I will know where the idea came from.
6) I already know Anubis Taylor has purchased at least one "adult entertainment feature". The name of this masterpiece is "Rack In Demand".
-And that's just what I KNOW. If I survive all of this, I am sure I will be a better man for it. -Not because I will have sowed all of my wild oats and can begin my life as a married man. Rather, I like to think of it as a weekend where I just kill all of the evil brain cells in my head in one fell swoop.
Details to come. Viva Atlantic City!
1 comment:
It's actually Racks By Popular Demand 2! Just remember that the last time I was in AC, the pope died, so you stand [In Vince McMahon voice] NO CHANCE IN HELL!
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