Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Wade Is Hurt! Who Can Help?!...Not So Fast, Smush

The day after the Heat told Dwayne Wade he was done for the season, all eyes went to Smush Parker as a possible replacement. He was on the team, played point guard, and he was highly touted by the Heat when they got him as a free agent this offseason. Yes, the stars were aligning for Smush, despite the fact that he was on forced leave from the team after an altercation with a parking valet guy at his condo in Miami. After all, it sounded like a pretty silly reason to suspend a guy for so long. Perhaps Smush's time to rise to glory had finally come!


The Heat gave Smush the ol' boot in the keister today, finally saying once and for all (without saying it) that it wasn't the altercation that was the reason for his suspension but the fact that he just sucked as a player. This is hard to hear from one of the worst teams in the league, let alone one that has had only seven (yes SEVEN) healthy players the last two games. When I heard I felt pretty bad for the little guy...

-Until I heard he got around $900,000 just for his RELEASE! Sheesh, what a lucky jackass! Him and his "Smushcalade" can drive off into the sunset with Keith Van Horn for all I care:

If I save every day of my life, and rob everyone I see on the street while I do so, I MAY be able to afford the headlight on that car.

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