Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wait Time Out... You Want to Retire?!?!


See what I did there with that title? This morning, Chris Webber is going to be calling a press conference to announce his retirement. As the picture to the right attests (w00t George Lynch!), Webber always knew how to capitalize on opportunities to make big plays. Oh let me stop!

Growing up in Orlando, I was very familiar with Chris Webber after my Magic took him first overall in 1993, subsequently trading him to Golden State for Penny Hardaway and 3 future first rounders. When he was a freshman in college, I was 11 years old, and completely caught up in the Fab Five; I started wearing the longest basketball shorts I could find, and decided that being Like Mike was no longer necessary, I could be a bruiser and control the paint, and that was way more fun than being THE GUY to me for some reason (maybe because I couldn't and still can't dribble, and I'm worthless on offense). I bought his Golden State jersey, and I thought he would be the future of the power forward position in the NBA. Ok maybe that didn't work out like I thought it would, but I was 13, Kurt Cobain was everywhere, my girlfriend had just gotten 2nd place on Nickelodeon's Guts, I mean it was a year that saw the release of Myst, Doom, Secret of Mana, and Star Fox, it was euphoria.

Today marks the end of a career that surprisingly puts him in the company of only 5 other guys who averaged at least 20 points, 9 rebounds, and 4 assists; a list that includes Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor, Larry Bird, Billy Cunningham, and Kevin Garnett. That is surprisingly impressive for a guy who came in to the league as a beast, and is leaving it a hobbled pass first big man. Don't get it twisted, he is nice with the passing, but I'm gonna miss the inappropriate time out calling, second degree assaulting, arrest resisting, marijuana possessing, gambling ring assisting, Tyra Banks dissing, 2 Much Drama recording, Mayce Edward Christopher Webber III.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like C Webb as much as the next guy. And, I look forward to seeing him sell himself to razor and axe commercials out in his retirement. But, let's take a minute to tackle the bigger issue here. You're from Orlando, where Guts is filmed and presumably where there's a wide selection of chicks that got on the show, and your x was on the show and didn't come home with the agrocrag? That's the thick of the issue right there...

Crucifictorious said...

End of an era, really. Juwan should just bag it ASAP, too.

Anna said...

Tyra Banks is crazy.

G.L. Rawx said...

You know what anonymous, you're right. I don't know why I ever associated myself with someone who couldn't tackle the crag. I need to re-evaluate some things.

Anonymous said...

Anna, Tyra totally is crazy: http://jezebel.com/370005/vintage-antm-remember-that-time-tyra-totally-lost-her-shit?autoplay=true

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