Monday, April 28, 2008

Boston Wins Game 3...Wait...What?!

I'm waiting for Josh Smith to pull the mask off and reveal he was Eli Manning all along.

Tonight there was a different young underdog that smooshed pie in the face of a New England goliath in the playoffs, as the Hawks somehow beat the Celtics 97-92. This tied the series 2-2, winning money for people crazy enough to actually ever put money on the Hawks.

Joe Johnson scored 35 points, Josh Smith scored 28, and Mike Bibby scored 18, while Al Horford pulled down 13 boards. Marvin Williams, it should be noted, apparently still is alive and plays in the NBA. He scored 8 points amid stone-faced fans who continue to try to figure out how he was drafted over Chris Paul and Deron Williams (my guess: a damn good moustache).

The next game is back the land of tea-dumping colonials, where the Hawks will no doubt face a majorly pissed-off KG and company. The Celtics, after all, were so dominant during the regular season that by losing these two games in the playoffs they matched how many games they lost in the entire month of November. The Hawks' surprising moxie, coupled with watching lovable freaks Big Baby Davis and Zaza Pachulia square off, has helped this series officially joins the 76ers-Pistons matchup as "series everyone thought would suck, but actually sorta seems almost interesting now". If any one of the big three go down with injury (by way of "Three Amigos pelvic pump" perhaps?) or cold shooting streaks, we could very well be seeing the Hawks emerge victorious.

In the meantime, for the Celtics players and fans reading this: Don't fret. You still probably will win this series and have a perennial dynasty on your hands. There still is plenty of time for the fans of every major sports league to hate and envy you as you win a championship. -Mostly hate.

For the Hawks players and fans reading this: The odds are still stacked against you, so don't get cute. Win the darn series and then celebrate. If you DO somehow win this series, just promise me one thing: You find the first Celtics fan you see, slam a newspaper clipping on the window in front of them, and say, "I won the series. How do ya like THEM apples?"

-And then do that Three Amigos pelvic pump thing.

No comments: