Thursday, December 13, 2007

Christmas Has Come Early For NBA Hooligans!

With the majority of the northeast abandoning their cars on the highway in the snow and all sports fans glued to coverage of the Mitchell Report and Bobby Petrino, the NBA has no better time to fit in all its possible scandals.

With only two games on tonight's schedule, Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson are free to commit random acts of violence, Isiah Thomas can grab intern-ass, Joey Crawford and Tim Duncan can settle their differences in a cage match, Jerry Sloan can queer bash to his cold heart's delight, refs can put it all on black, Sebastian Telfair can bring a rocket launcher onto a plane, Michael Jordan can have sex with another woman he doesn't love, Carmello can sucker punch snitches, Eddie Curry can guzzle down barrels of trans fats, , Starbury can do all his interviews wasted, JR Smith can kill passengers in his car, and Matt Barnes can get back to doing what he does best: killing pimps a-la Travis Bickle.

Good luck to all and please for the love of Birdman, will someone break the tie? I'm personally shocked that Bango has a shot at the title.

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