Monday, December 10, 2007

Josh Smith Is Some Sort Of Fantasy Basketball God

Most of America does not partake in fantasy basketball, but the fact remains that it's popularity is steadily growing and it is easily the 4th most popular fantasy game after fantasy football, fantasy baseball, and nightly dreams of Megan Fox.

Whoa. That demands more than one link. Here ya go. Go nuts.

So for those of you who give a hoot about stats, have you SEEN what Josh Smith has been doing lately? He has not only been making fantasy basketball his bitch, but he is so good that he might be somehow racking up stats in other sports. I swear if you squint you see that he scored 3 goals against "Real Salt Lake".

Let's take a gander at his damage, shall we? Last Thursday he had 7 blocks in one game. In fantasy basketball terms that is like shitting a gold nugget, and having that gold nugget shit a diamond.

-And he isn't stopping anytime soon. Tonight he played my supposedly surging Orlando Magic and lit them up for 25 points, 16 rebounds, 5 assists, 4 steals, 4 blocks, and 2 three pointers en route to a 98-87 win. Goodness gracious. He had one less block than the other 20 people who played in the game combined (and that includes block master Dwight Howard).

The funniest/most tragic part of all of this is that no matter how hard he tries Josh Smith will likely be remembered by the rest of America as "That nobody who won the dunk contest a ways back". He could win the lottery, cure cancer, and go to jail for 23 months for fighting dogs and would still elicit that response. His only hope is the continued rise in the popularity of fantasy basketball. Look at the magnificent things it has done for the life of perpetual nobody Leandro Barbosa!

Wait, scratch that last comment. No one knows who the hell that is.

If you have Josh Smith in fantasy basketball, chances are that you are sitting pretty like those douchebags that drafted Tom Brady too high in fantasy football or said, "I'll take A-Rod with the first overall pick. I like to be hated." The bonus is that unlike those last two types you will probably lead a relatively peaceful life instead of being stoned to death viciously by the others in your fantasy league.

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