Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Sideshow Bob...To The Bobcats?!

Anderson Varejao, America's favorite out of shape and overweight palm-tree-lookalike, reached an agreement Tuesday night with the Charlotte Bobcats on a three year deal. Since he is a restricted free agent, this means the Cavs have until the end of the week to match the offer or watch him walk.

Reading this made me sit back and actually think of what things I know about Anderson Varejao. Let's see...

1) He helped set the world record for "most people wearing a wig during indoors" during a Cavs game.

2) He practially broke a person's face in half during the FIBA World Championships.

3) With his incredibly high shoulders, hunched back, and slouched posture he is easily one of the most bizarre looking players I have ever seen live during a basketball game. He looks like a muppet.

Yup, that's about it.

These attributes already make him a perfect fit for the hilarious Bad News Bears team named the Bobcats. They already have a gambling, chainsmoking NBA hero as a GM, a crying Prefontaine clone, Raymond Felton (whose profile photos all make him look like ODB), and other wacky players like Matt Carroll and Primoz Brezec. When it comes down to it, Varejao was BORN to wear the neon orange space suit.

Sadly, according to people close to the Cavs organization it looks like Cleveland will likely match the offer and toss Anderson into Charlie Bell Hell, a land where escape from your team is impossible.

We can only hope he finds a way out so we can see him receiving a handshake and a stogey from Mike. The comedic implications are endless.

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