Thursday, January 3, 2008

No Equal Trade Value For Artest, Isiah? To The Balk-Mobile!

Ron Artest, the Knicks-iest player to NOT be on the Knicks, is coveted by that very same pants-monickered team. This we know.

In addition to this, we've already known not only that Artest wants to play in his hometown, but that he also that he enjoys pointing out repeatedly that he respects Isiah Thomas (it has to be the popcorn at this point).

Why, OH WHY can't they get a deal done and send Ron-Ron to his fate in orange and blue? It would make this already hilarious team even funnier, and at this point the Knicks are obviously targeting "headline humor level" when contacting other players.

Well, one educated guess would be that the Knicks have almost no one of any value that any other team could possibly want at this point besides David Lee, and they don't want to deal him. Even Zach Randolph, usually a monster when given the ball enough times, seems to have been engulfed by the Knick's career draining disease (affectionately called 'Dolan-itis').

So what do you offer to another team when you have little to nothing to offer?

Hint: He is the one doing "Blue Steel" in the picture above.

That's right ladies and gents.....................the Knicks are ready to deal their savior.

The Sacramento Bee, our favorite newspaper for Maloof hijinks and "We got Stan Van Gundy" gun-jumping headlines, is reporting that the Knicks are now willing to deal Renaldo Balkman in an attempt to get Artest.

-The same Balkman that everyone passed on in the draft and caused the boos to rain down from Madison Square Garden when the Knicks drafted him.

-The same Balkman that Isiah Thomas defended by saying the Suns were targeting him in the draft, only to have the Suns laugh that they had never heard of him.

-The same Balkman that everyone raised eyebrows at for a while with some decent play, only to see him return to earth and get buried on the Knicks bench this year. He is currently earning about 2-8 minutes a night (When Wilson Chandler gets more minutes a night than you, your career is not goin in the right direction).

Well, you know what the Kings' brass must be thinking: "Our Best Player For Balkman? SIGN US UP!"

Anything less would be uncivilized. Please get this deal done.

On a side note, a Balkman for Artest deal would not only cause the mass suicide of Kings fans who are clinging to that last shred of hope, but it would also result in behemoth bonuses for MSG security guards. We're also pretty sure it's in Revelations in the Bible somewhere as the seventh seal.

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