Author's Note: I love that title because I actually live in a penthouse in New York. I may never get over the novelty of living in a type of apartment that shares itself with a popular adult men's magazine. On a side note, I have nothing against people who live in the gutter, although I'll be damned if they walk into my apartment without taking their shoes off first. 
While it may be too late in the season for them to do anything this year, I would keep an eye on the Miami Heat if I were you.
Yes, seriously. Stop giggling. I know they have lost 6 straight and are a complete joke this season, but the Heat's highway theft of Shawn Marion for a broken-down Grimace from McDonaldland indicated that the team could be on the upswing quicker than previously thought.
In fact, when the Marion-for-Shaq deal happened it reminded me of when the Celtics got Ray Allen. Everyone at the time scratched their heads and said, "Well, THAT was a waste! Why get Ray Allen when they are so far away from contending?" Then, as we all know, the Celtics initiated phase 2 in their plan to take over the world by adding KG and they are now our supreme overlords (if this becomes a movie, it will feel similar to "Independence Day" except all of the aliens will look like Big Baby). 
Well, rumors are now swirling around the Heat possibly adding another player. Namely, Mike Miller seems convinced that he is going to be sent to Miami. Apparently Mikey is telling his good friends that he will be traded for either the contract of Jason Williams or Ricky Davis. If the Heat got Miller for Ricky Davis it would somehow mean the Heat, in some roundabout way, traded Mike Miller for Antoine Walker. That is like getting a truckload of diamonds in exchange for a night of "anything goes" intimacy with Dennis Franz. 
-Having Walker on your team is actually way worse than that, but that was the worst image I could think of for now.
Getting Mike Miller would make the Heat starting lineup:
Dwayne Wade
Mike Miller
Shawn Marion
Udonis Haslem
Mark Blount (or insert center they draft here)
Yikes, that looks like a pretty good team. Granted, the Miller trade has to go through first, but I'm writing this more to give you a heads up where the next "out-of-nowhere from-crap-to-gold team" might come from. We already know the Grizzlies want to completely crush their fanbase's hope beyond recognition and this would be a solid step in that direction.
Also, look for a possible trade to influence Pat Riley's current "should I stay or should I go" comments to the media (and The Clash karaoke stylings). After all, Riley only really wants to coach teams when they are already built up for him so he can ride the wave to glory. Look at it like Brett Favre's annual public waffling about whether he'll retire, except completely driven by how much he will win and devoid of any kind of soul. The lookalike for Al Pacino's character in "The Devil's Advocate" would accept nothing less.
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