Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Kidd: Hello??? Wrong Guy Assholes!

The master plan of the New Jersey Nets to turn Jason Kidd into Britney Spears' crazy ass has reached Stage 3: Code Name Blubber with the trade of the worthless Jason Collins to the equally worthless Stromile Swift.

What other reason would there be to make this trade a top priority? It is not as if Collins was demanding a greater role in the NJ offense or Stromile is going to bring the Nets back to the championship with the same stellar play that's gotten him relegated to the end of the Memphis Grizzlies bench.

Actually there is one more possible reason: reality TV.

That's right, Jason Kidd is completely unaware that he is the latest contestant on a Truman Show-esque television program where the strength of the human psyche is put to the test by an unstoppable wave of stupid shit. I'm pretty sure that when Kidd awoke this morning, Darrell Armstrong was next to him, the salt and sugar were in opposite jars and Marv Albert was in his living room watching porn and calling him 'roomie." No matter how many triple-doubles and circus shots Kidd racks up this season, he still can't escape the fact that Antoine Wright has stuffed sardines and cat food into the inside of his walls.

What other hoops must Kidd jump through to get traded?

Human Tetris?

Stand Up To Komodo Dragons?

Get A Beat Down With A Fan?

By far this is the most underrated reality show out there after Paradise Hotel 2! Ready those DVRs boys.

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