I Know Why The Caged Birdman Sings

On Monday, the reinstatement application from Chris Andersen will be reviewed by the league office. Andersen has just completed a two-year banishment for testing positive for what the league calls a "drug of abuse" - a.k.a. meth, heroin, PCP, LSD, and/or coke. The paranoid Mel Gibson in me actually thinks that his suspension was for his horrific showing in the 2005 Dunk Contest, but nevertheless the "wheels are in motion" for The Birdman to return!

For those not familiar with Andersen, Birdman is an NBDL alum who soared his way into the hearts of fans in Denver and later New Orleans with his high flying act of dunks, blocks, rebounds and awe-inspiring hair. Think of a hyperkinetic, athletic and bat shit crazy Anderson Varejao.

Once he is reinstated, the Hornets will have first crack at giving him a contract that will run for the rest of the season. This actually makes sense for the team, since they lack front-court depth behind Tyson Chandler and David West. Since Shaq will be absent from this year's All-Star game in New Orleans, a great way to bring excitement and drama to the weekend will be if Andersen reintroduces himself to the basketball world by running out of the stands during the dunk contest and wins the competition by dunking the ball while snorting a line off the rim. That's good clean American fun the whole family will enjoy!

THE BIRDMAN COMETH