Tuesday, February 5, 2008

So What Do Those Boasting Patriots Fans Do Now? Ohhh, Right.

As I look out at the South Street Seaport in Manhattan at the hundreds of smiling Giants fans, fresh from viewing their team in a victory parade, one question springs to mind:

If there are this many happy Giants fans, what are the angry Patriots fans doing with their time and colonial-era aggression?

The answer hit me like a ton of bricks (I've always wanted to use this expression more as it is the best part of film noir movies): The Patriots need another cause to hop onto and QUICK because their gloating has left them with a hole in their egos that even 8 kegs of Samuel Adams can't fix.  What we will likely see is a mass migration of Patriots fans onto the Celtics bandwagon.

This might not sound like news because a lot of Patriots fans are already Celtics fans, but this year the Boston faithful has been kinda quiet about their favorite St. Patrick-inspired team.  It hasn't been completely awful to be around a Celtics fan in the same way it has been awful to be around a Patriots fan.  Well, you can toss that out of the window now that the NBA season is in full swing and the Celtics still hold the best record.  You can practically see people slapping copies of the Boston Herald, with headlines like "NBA'S BEST!" written on them, against window glasses with loud boasts of, "How do you like THEM apples?!"

There is nothing I can do to prevent this, but all I can do is mentally prepare the rest of America for the Celtics to go from somewhat likable worst-to-first squad to completely insufferable.  Anyone who was yelling in your ear, "The Pats ah goin' to be wicked un-da-FEET-ed!" and got a slice of humble pie will soon be yelling, "Who is tha best team in the N-Bee-AY?  My Celts, that's who! BIG BAY-BEE! BIG BAY-BEE!"  I fully expect each and every one of these people to also morph into that frat guy with his hands on his head during the NBA draft.

To take a deep breath, sports fans, because all of that fuel and fire behind the Patriots fan base has to go somewhere, and we all know the green location it is going to go in.  Sigh.

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