Monday, February 4, 2008

Everyone's Got A Case Of The "Trade Me"s

Normally it's the TEAMS testing the trade waters with their players.

-Not so much anymore. Once the pinhole appeared in the dam with Fohawk model JJ Redick's agent making his urge to be traded public, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the dam broke.

Today there was a veritable cornucopia of players telling their teams to trade them.

Jerome James wants a change of scenery. Apparently that team isn't even good enough for a guy named "Big Snacks". How can you not forsee good things for a player once described as "the worst free-agent signing of the summer (and in the pantheon of all-time worst)"?

Jamal Crawford looks like he's "pulling a Jason Kidd", as those close to him are telling the world he wants a trade (including friend and writer Percy Allen), all while Jamal shrugs and says, "Who...me?" with an innocent smile. This does not bode well for Isiah Thomas' plans for the future. Someone's gotta breathe that depleted ozone air!

Devean George wants a trade too. He was that guy who used to be on the Lakers back when they were serious title contenders, remember? No, not that guy, the other guy. You know, on the bench? No, not Mark Madsen. He was sorta chubby and came in about 5 minutes a night for mop up duty? Not ringing any bells? Ah, forget it.

Gerald Green wants a trade. What I find to be the most interesting part of this story is that I read about Green wanting out of Minnesota on 5 different sites, and all referred to him as "Leaper Gerald Green". I guess he has been relegated to "that guy who was in the dunk contest" status, along with Nate Robinson and Brent Barry (Josh Smith only recently escaped, now a fantasy god). I'd hate this if I were Green, as it really is only a small typo from being "Leper Gerald Green".

Overall, if these guys are looking for sympathy they are looking at the wrong guy. I feel like getting a trade demand to go anywhere in the NBA requires some madcap antics, and they have not been going this route yet. Get caught with a prostitute, I say! Go tell the team owner that he smells like the clearance section of Dress Barn! Better yet, I have the perfect idea:

Oh wait...it appears someone already did it. Everyone run! Apparently Rasheed's going to demand a trade!

2 comments:

G.L. Rawx said...

Sheed wants out!!! He'll be in New York in minutes! It's Cloverfield!

Magic Man said...

That fright spot on his head holds magical powers.